A Lesson in Willingness 1

I wonder if this principle is really, really true. Or if I only notice it when evidence in the real world supports the principle, and just don’t notice when it doesn’t.

Lots of things happen to us that we don’t plan, intend or want. I’ve adopted a stance that helps me cope with these things.

It’s this: if I really, in my heart of hearts, am completely willing for something to happen, then it usually doesn’t. If I do all the work inside myself to get to a point where I decide I can deal with this if it happens, then I won’t have to deal with it, because it won’t happen. I call this ‘My lesson in willingness.’

It doesn’t work if I try to trick myself in saying, ‘Yes, I’m willing for that to happen,’ hoping then that I fool providence (or whatever) into not making me endure it (whatever ‘it’ is). Seriously. You have to be genuinely, completely, authentically willing for it to happen.

Here’s my most recent example:

Last month I applied for a job I really wanted. I sent off my carefully crafted CV to the recruiter, who rang me the next morning to assure himself that I really was as good as I looked on paper, and he said he’d put me forward for this position. Then, silence. I heard nothing, nada, not a peep, for weeks. I assumed my CV had fallen into a black hole, as you do. But then other opportunities opened up for me. I found someone with whom I could collaborate on an exciting project. My husband got a pay rise. More consulting work came in, a few more coaching clients. I decided I really didn’t want to get a job, to be an employee. I recommitted with gusto and enthusiasm to my plans for self-employment.

Then, guess what happened?

That’s right. I had a phone call. Some problem or other had interrupted their recruitment process, they were sorry. Was I still available and was I still interested?

Hmmmm.

My lesson in willingness. I was SO willing not to have this job, that now when the door is open again and it looks like I might have it if I want it, I don’t actually want it after all.

Isn’t that interesting? It’s a little along the lines of ‘what you resist, persists’, but like the opposite. I find it totally convincing.

What do you think?

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