Honey sent me a link and said “May be of interest.”
It has to do with the difference between Askers and Guessers.
Askers habitually ask for what they want. They ask for favours, a better deal when buying something, a flight upgrade, to stay in your spare bedroom when they’re in town, to borrow that book. Askers feel fine doing this, as they expect that people will just say “no” when the request doesn’t work for them (in whatever way — Askers often don’t expect or need an explanation). Askers ask for a pay rise, a promotion, a date. If they don’t get it, well, there may be disappointment, sure. But there are not usually any hard feelings.
Guessers aren’t so direct. Guessers pay attention to the nuances of a situation, they put out delicate feelers, or hint at wanting an offer of some kind, or try to find out if they would likely get what they want (if they were brave enough to ask for it!). Guessers won’t ask for something until they feel pretty sure the answer will be “Yes.” Guessers may be pretty upset when they aren’t successful at getting what they want. After all, they put a lot of work into it.
Guessers think that Askers are annoying, or worse, incredibly rude.
Askers think Guessers are wishy-washy, or worse, manipulative.
The trouble begins when a Guesser is approached by an Asker. “Do you mind if I borrow your Kindle to take along on my holiday?” The Asker will just ask, partly because they would find it easy to say, “No, I don’t think so” if the tables were reversed. The Guesser would struggle to say “No”, and would work hard to find an excuse, “because I’ll be using it that week.” The Guesser will consider the Asker rude, thoughtless, too forward. The Asker doesn’t understand why the Guesser has such a problem with saying No.
Honey was right: this was definitely of interest.
I’m an Asker, and I live in a world of Guessers.
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