debby.hallett@gmail.com – Page 5

The Action Machine (TAM)

In my efforts to use my time more effectively, I’ve become convinced that the morning hours are my most productive time, and that anything worth doing, is not only worth doing well, but it’s worth doing in the morning. But I ran across someone who thinks that if it’s worth doing, then it’s worth doing with extreme focus (because you’ll do it better, and faster, and feel more of a sense of accomplishment).

Derek Franklin built The Action Machine (TAM), an Adobe Flash application that he promises will help me (and anyone) towards amazing increases in productivity. I have a friend who uses it and really likes it, so I decided to buy it and have a go. No risk, as he offers an 8 week guarantee. (Well, the only risk is the loss of the difference in exchange rates: he sells and refunds in US dollars. When I buy it and pay with GB pounds, I lose a small amount. When he refunds me in US dollars and I have to convert to to GBP, I lose a little more. But never mind. That’s certainly not his fault.)

Here are the highlights of my experience:

It stands alone. By this I mean that there is no facility for importing tasks from Outlook or Remember the Milk, or any other Task Management system. I use Outlook for task management, in a David-Allen-Get-Things-Done sort of way, and that approach works really well for me. Re-entering tasks seems a waste of time, which is annoying. I contacted Derek to be certain that there was no way to import tasks from another application. He confirmed that to be the case. What it can do is import tasks from another instance of the same application. I haven’t figured out how that would be useful, unless you have a PC and a laptop and regularly work at both workstations, perhaps.
The current date is displayed in the ambiguous 6/5/2010 format. Americans do their dates one way, and nearly all of the rest of the world do theirs differently. To Americans, 6/5/2010 is the 5th of June. To me, it’s the 6th of May. I contacted Derek to see if he could format his date in some kind of unambiguous way, perhaps 5 Jun 2010. No, he wasn’t going do that. (For more on asking and saying no, see my post on Askers and Guessers). He said he hadn’t really worked with date formatting before, but that he’d take it on board for future development
One morning I entered all my activities into TAM, and put in the estimated time for each activity, and hit Go! for the most important thing that day. I had a set of reports to finish and send off to a client. I set to work, and was well into it and making very good progress (this application makes it fun to focus!), when my PC beeped at me. I had a message that my time was up and this task was marked “Complete”. But I wasn’t done yet. I looked for a Give-me-10-more-minutes-please button, but there wasn’t one. In order to get 10 more minutes, I had to add the task again and assign 10 minutes to it and then Go. If you are aware of the loss of mental flow when a task is interrupted, you can appreciate that this isn’t an “undocumented feature” that I like. I want a snooze button.

I learned that I focus my efforts on completing taks, rather than spending time on an activity. For example, I will want to score 4 Leadership Development Profiles. Or I need to complete the Performance Reports and send them off. Or I need to learn how to upload a Flickr photo to my blog. I don’t work along the lines of “Spend 45 minutes on marketing”, or “Do some scoring for awhile”. Well, there are times that I work on activites rather than tasks: I can spend an hour watching TV, or soaking in the tub, or reading a novel. But some people will rather “watch Grey’s Anantomy”, or “read a chapter of Vanilla Beans and Brodo (which is excellent, by the way). But when I’m focused on being productive, I’m focused on completing tasks, not on spending a certain amount of time on that activity.

So, bottom line, I have a different mental model of what I need to do to feel more productive. I need to finish tasks. When my tasks seem to big for one sitting, I break them into smaller pieces. But the important thing, to me, is to finish it.

After all, if I say at the end of the day that I delivered proposals to two potential clients, it feels like I accompished something meaningful. If I say that I worked on some proposals today, well, it just doesn’t.

Are you an Asker or a Guesser?

Honey sent me a link and said “May be of interest.”

It has to do with the difference between Askers and Guessers.

Askers habitually ask for what they want. They ask for favours, a better deal when buying something, a flight upgrade, to stay in your spare bedroom when they’re in town, to borrow that book. Askers feel fine doing this, as they expect that people will just say “no” when the request doesn’t work for them (in whatever way — Askers often don’t expect or need an explanation). Askers ask for a pay rise, a promotion, a date. If they don’t get it, well, there may be disappointment, sure. But there are not usually any hard feelings.

Guessers aren’t so direct. Guessers pay attention to the nuances of a situation, they put out delicate feelers, or hint at wanting an offer of some kind, or try to find out if they would likely get what they want (if they were brave enough to ask for it!). Guessers won’t ask for something until they feel pretty sure the answer will be “Yes.” Guessers may be pretty upset when they aren’t successful at getting what they want. After all, they put a lot of work into it.

Guessers think that Askers are annoying, or worse, incredibly rude.

Askers think Guessers are wishy-washy, or worse, manipulative.

The trouble begins when a Guesser is approached by an Asker. “Do you mind if I borrow your Kindle to take along on my holiday?” The Asker will just ask, partly because they would find it easy to say, “No, I don’t think so” if the tables were reversed. The Guesser would struggle to say “No”, and would work hard to find an excuse, “because I’ll be using it that week.” The Guesser will consider the Asker rude, thoughtless, too forward. The Asker doesn’t understand why the Guesser has such a problem with saying No.

Honey was right: this was definitely of interest.

I’m an Asker, and I live in a world of Guessers.

Setting boundaries

Someone asked my advice for learning to set personal boundaries.

Well, what’s appropriate is different for everyone. A basic (though not simple!) approach is to look at what you value, and determine what your response would be if or when those values are not respected. Some of them will be “deal-breakers” (in the words of Dr Phil). By that I mean that if those values aren’t respected, the relationship isn’t tolerable. Some women hold the value of non-violence, and if anyone in their life raises a hand to them, that’s a deal-breaker. Other women don’t feel that way.

Steve Pavlina posted on his blog a list of possible values, from which you can pick the ones most important to you, and then prioritise. (He’s listed 374 things, and lets you know you are free to add more!) Pick, say, 10 or 12, more if you like. But if you try this out with just a few values, you’ll get a good feel for how it is to think about this kind of thing. For example, here are the values I picked (in alphabetical order):

Agility (mental and situational, not physical)
Appreciation
Approachability
Courage
Consciousness
Excellence
Freedom
Gratitude
Honesty
Introversion
Mindfulness
Punctuality

Once you have your long list, now put your items in priority order. When I prioritise mine, here’s what I get:

Mindfulness
Gratitude
Appreciation
Introversion
Courage
Consciousness
Honesty
Freedom
Excellence
Punctuality
Agility
Approachability

Even in the 5 minutes it took me to do this, I’ve learned something about myself. Namely, that Approachability isn’t that important to me when I compare it to all the other things. Why not try this for yourself, and see what you find out about yourself.

For me, I need a sharper focus on fewer things, so I’ll concentrate on my top 5.

Mindfulness
Gratitude
Appreciation
Introversion
Courage

I want to consider how I can manifest those values in my life.

The boundary setting comes into play when I imagine someone or some situation asking me to behave in a way that violates my value system. Would I comply? If so, why? The answer to that question helps me understand the nuances of what I value.

For example, one of my high values is Introversion. To me, it’s essential that I have quiet, alone time in which I can re-charge. So I need to be in a work environment that supports that need. An open plan office next to the coffee break area, with a radio continually on, and loud telephone conversations at a fever pitch of excitement, are NOT the work environment in which I thrive. So I will work to minimise all those things in my workspace. That has meant requesting a desk move, or policy changes, or an office with a door that shuts, or more home-working. These are all different ways I can honour this value.

I think that we value our jobs or careers more than we might initially think. When our boundary is pushed at work, we often tolerate it, sometimes to an extent that will surprise us. It’s an opportunity to look more deeply at ourselves and our motivations.

I think that most of us try really hard to set appropriate boundaries. Some of are successful, others not so.

Ask yourself which action causes more discomfort: Setting firm and compassionate boundaries and helping others respect them? Or not setting boundaries and repeatedly trying to manage the resultant upset? I know what I prefer! 🙂

But admittedly, it’s not easy, and can be a long journey.

My interview with Myles Downey (the completion)

Previously I wrote about my opportunity to interview Myles Downey, a business coach I admire very much.

That interview has now been published in the June 2010 issue of Integral Leadership Review. You can read the interview, HERE, on the journal’s website.

I’m really pleased with how it turned out, especially since this was my first ever try at interviewing anyone about anything!

My hope is that readers will find something useful in my writing.

The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing

Life is complicated. So many demands on our time and attention, and it’s too easy to get lost and forget what it is you were trying to do. Have you ever gone out to the kitchen, and once there, you can’t remember what you came out there for? Life can be like that at times. Only bigger. And more important.

Productivity experts have lots of advice about how to get things done. They also have advice about how to decide what’s the main thing, what’s the most important thing for you to be focused on.

But I think the biggest challenge is this: once you’ve decided, then you need to keep your focus on the main thing and not be distracted. You need to keep the main thing the main thing.

How can you do that? Here are 8 tips:

Print out some colourful, relevant posters and hang them strategically around your home of office.
Every day, the first thing, do something related to your main thing.
Every week, determine what actions you need to take on your main thing. Add these actions to your diary , so that you have the time scheduled to do them.
Ask a friend to remind you once in awhile. They can email, or IM you: Hey Debs! Hows that project going to get the ooompha off the ground? (I’d shared that my main thing at the moment is to get my ooompha off the ground.)
Every night, just as you turn off the light to go to sleep, ask yourself, “What was the best thing you accomplished today with regard to the main thing?”
Every morning, while you shower or shave or brush your teeth, ask yourself “What’s the most important thing for me to do today about my main thing?” (That colourful poster on the mirror should help remind you.)
Think of some object that’s related (in your mind’s eye) to the main thing. Set up a search for it in ebay. (When ebay finds it, ebay will email you! How brilliant is that?!)
List the top 7 things you do as distraction activities. Here are some examples: play solitaire, play sodoku, read Facebook, BBC news, watch TV, read DebbyHallet.com, read something in my pile of ‘things to be read’, answer un-urgent emails. You get the drift. Anything that you spend significant time doing when you really should be doing something else, is a distraction activity. Postpone them! Those dishes certainly need to be washed, but is is more important right now than the main thing?

Good luck. Let me know some of the things you do to keep the main thing the main thing.

Anger management – real life lessons

Recently I’ve been working on managing my anger.

This came about as a result of my losing it at the millionth person who blocked our drive with their car. A care worker who calls next door parked in front of my neighbour’s house, in a space that isn’t long enough to park a car without obstructing someone’s drive (usually ours). My husband tried to maneuver around her car, and misjudged it and scraped our car against the brick pillar at the entrance to the drive. I totally lost it. It’s somewhat out of character for me (I’m usually a moaner and complainer) and even though my personal trainer thought it was great that I’d got angry, I felt like this was something I definitely didn’t want to be doing.

So, following some of my own (sage) advice, I sought to focus on what I did want, rather than what I didn’t want.

I DO want to allow my feelings to be felt, and I want to express those feelings in a safe way, and then I want to reflect on a course of action that will go further to helping me get what I want than losing my temper will do. What I don’t want is to fly off the handle, shout and remonstrate with those who have offended, and feel regret my outburst afterwards.

So, focusing on expressing my feelings and getting the result I DO want…

Last night I was visiting a friend and a Tesco home delivery driver clipped my (legally) parked car, then denied having done it. He refused to give me his contact details, said I had his vehicle reg number and “Tesco” and that was good enough. He told me he drives past parked cars all the time and their alarms often go off. (But my alarm only goes off when the car is rocked — it’s a motion detector, and there’s a stabiliser system that prevents false alarms from drive-by incidents). No, my car’s gouged and crunched fender had nothing to do with him. No, those were old dents and scrapes on his lorry. No, you don’t need my name, cos I didn’t do it!

Only when I asked clearly, “Are you refusing to give me your contact details?” did he demur and give me a number to ring Tesco. I took photos with my Blackberry. (Whatever did we do before mobile phones with cameras?) I found the curled paint on the road beside my car. I brought my friend out to see the damage and say what they’d seen.

But I didn’t lose my temper. I was terribly upset, in tears at one point, especially when he accused me of opportunistically lying to make money out of Tesco. But I managed the littlest bit of compassion: I thought that he was doing the best he could with what personal resources he had. And I felt sort of sorry for him. He said someone last week accused him of running into his car. (No surprise there.) I wondered if he was in fear of losing his job from a pattern of carelessness, and then his family would be in trouble. Yes, a tiny bit of compassion.

So, today, I’m still sort of upset about my car, and the way he spoke to me and treated me. But the manager at the Tesco there in Cowley said their insurance department would contact me today and we’ll go from there.

Anger management success, of a sort.

Be calm, meditate

In the past few days I’ve encountered a few different people who say they’d like to meditate, but that their mind is too full of junk and chatter to allow them to settle down and meditate.

They’ve got this all backwards!

One of the benefits of regular meditation practice is that the mind begins to calm down. We sit, we focus on something (a mantra, a candle, our out-breath) and when we become aware that our mind has wandered, we label it ‘thinking’ and bring it back to the object of focus.

Over time, this training of our mind begins to have a positive effect in many areas of life: longer attention span, better focus on the main thing (whatever the main thing is for you) and a more generous attitude.

I sometimes wish I could sit with people who I hear saying this. Sit with me, here, hold my hand, close your eyes, and just, well, pause.

I saw this story yesterday: The Pause. (Well, they called it daydreaming, but it’s really meditation.) Think about how your life would change if you made the changes these school boys have made. Abandon the earplugs, which get you hyper-stimulated so that you can’t concentrate. Every time you change classes (or pick up a new task) take a few minutes to calm your mind, let go of what you were thinking about and make space for what you want to think about now.

A technique that’s powerful beyond expectation. Your mind responds hungrily to a call to calm.

Achiever

The Achiever action logic is what we in the modern, developed world consider to be the optimum level of development for successful adults. The main thing for the Achiever is passion for achieving goals. So, the corporate world of targets and bottom line results is fertile ground for the Achiever.

The Achiever helps his organization carry out their strategy. Picture a project manager, juggling various tasks, people and agendas to achieve a defined result. With his “eyes on the prize”, the Achiever will move mountains to achieve his goal.

Where the Expert loves to dig into the details and know everything there is to know about something, the Achiever is more interested in how things are in relation to the wider environment, and relative to the desired outcome.

Where the Expert is concerned with doing things right. The Achiever is concerned with doing the right thing to get the right result. They’re probably less concerned with the approach to be used.

The Achiever focuses on cause and effect, on consequences of actions, and on outcomes.

The Achiever will seek out and welcome feedback, but only if it helps them to achieve what they have already set out to do. They don’t like to hear that they may need to reconsider goal itself.

The Achiever recognizes that people have differing points of view and unique skills. The Achiever values teamwork and making and keeping agreements as a way of managing individual differences.

The Achiever has a rational approach to life. He knows the answer is “out there” even if it isn’t yet known. Many scientists operate from the Achiever action logic.

The Achiever often feels like there’s never enough time to do the all the things he wants to do. He may think that he’s taken on too much to fit into his available time. The Achiever often has a system for managing his time so that they can try to fit more of the important things into their life. It may be a priority to the Achiever that he balance his work life and private life.

In the general population, we find that about 35% of adults are at the Achiever action logic.

Opportunist

To the Opportunist, everything is about getting personal advantage and winning. The Opportunist makes things and people work by unilateral manipulation, or by getting the most personally advantageous trade -off possible.

The Opportunist views the world as “Me against Them”, and the and the main thing is to not get caught

The Opportunist can only view a short term horizon, and gives little or no thought to longer term consequences, or how his actions today affect other’s impressions of him or even his own success over the longer term.

The Opportunist values only short term, visible, costs and benefits: this week’s sales figures, or the best parking space, or the photo with the powerful leader. Luck plays a big part in success.

The Opportunist plays his hand close to his chest, because that’s the way he thinks others are playing.

The Opportunist might use flattery to get your help with something, or might feign sharing of his personal details to get you onside as a “friend”. But the Opportunist is no friend, and won’t hesitate to use you for his own gain.

Fortunately, Opportunists aren’t often found in positions of management. But you might have one in your workplace.

Distribution in managers: about 1%

Expert

Experts no longer identify with what makes them the same as the group. Now they value their special, unique skills and what makes them stand out from the group.

The shift from Diplomat to Expert can come about as the Diplomat begins to realize that they can belong to more than one group, each of which has different values. It becomes more and more difficult to know which group has the “right” values.

Experts depend less on others’ judgments of quality, and more on their own standards. But they can do this to the extreme: “My way is the only way!”

Experts sometimes defiantly and stubbornly refuse to acknowledge any authority but their own, or their craft’s ” best practices” or their craft hero’s values. In other words, unless you are a recognized authority on the subject matter, your opinion will not be worth anything to the Expert. Feedback is only welcomed from acknowledged subject matter experts.

The Expert is often a perfectionist, and therefore not such a good team player. They may try to take on a whole project by themselves because they know they can do it better than anyone else.

The Expert sees things as black or white. So an Expert manager may praise a job well done (that is, done to the Expert’s own standards) and criticize anything not done the right way (that is, not done the Expert’s way!).

The Expert’s aim for perfection can take its toll though: stress can be high, and there may be difficult relationships with colleagues.

Distribution in managers

19%-68% of managers are Experts. This percentage is higher in more junior managers, and lower in senor managers.

You’re likely to know lots of Experts!